by Eudonte Gnomie
Friday, October 04, 2002
- Last Thoughts on a Friday Afternoon -
- Sleep is not only good, but necessary for absolute sanity.
- Sanity is not necessarily required for the Christian life.
- Christians are wretched, but holy wretches.
- Since the church is run by holy wretches, it will not run like a well-oiled machine. (Well, not in most cases anyway.)
- Speaking of well-oiled machines, my car is still running.
- My still-running car is taking me out to the farm for my mother's fall party o'three.
- My family is a little quirky.
- Quirky is most certainly a good thing.
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Tuesday, October 01, 2002
- Tired, Grumpy, and Blessed? -While off in my own little world, grumbling in my sad condition and how the grass is so much greener on the other side, the library's purchasing manager emailed to say my request for a new chair was approved - even though we are in a budget crisis at the moment. First, my old chair of two years is designed for a 6' man - I am a 5'2" woman. Second, I am on keyboard 8 hours a day with all my weight on my wrists which is a great way of creating carpel tunnel syndrome. Third, I have already developed carpel tunnel (like everyone else here.) However I just decided that the university was too money-centered to pay attention to the needs of their employees so there has been no asking of God to supply my needs, just griping under my breath.
And now I'm getting a new chair. Maybe when I'm old and fully grey, I'll finally realize that God does in fact take care of the needs of his children. This happens all the time though - I am such an Isrealite - yet my needs are still provided for and it absolutely stuns me everytime to realize that I am not a "lone, forsaken creature" but a child of the King.
"To glory bring me, Lord, at last,
And there when all my fears are past,
With all thy saints then I'll agree -
God has been merciful to me."
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Monday, September 30, 2002
- Turning Grey -Last night I found grey hair number two. I think it only weirds me out because I don't feel like I'm fully an adult, but who ever feels like they truly are. Though it does make me think of a four-year-old who once asked my mother if she was going to die soon since people with grey hair will die. However she's not too off the mark - I think we dislike grey hair because they remind us of our mortality and this may not be such a bad thing.
Today found me bemoaning my current state where I feel like I am working from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed in trying to both eat and follow the path I feel called to follow.. Ten hours ago, I was ranting against the American church for not teaching the gospel clearly enough to my grandmother who is terrified of dying and thus will not think about the fact that we all know her days are numbered. Today, my heart is so wrapped up in this world that I had forgotten that we are but "wretched wanderers." I feel like I must be the one to put all the pieces together, but they don't fit though I won't always admit it.
In God's providence, this morning a friend began talking of about falling in love with Christ's beauty. Then I thought - that's what it's all about. My works & creations will one day pass away, I will slowly become old and will one day look death in the face, but Christ beauty will never fade and that it is not a waste of time to pursue this. My goal should not be understand this earth, because I will not understand it all and I can only push so far until it will break me. I can and should look forward to where true riches lie - not ignoring this world, but not clinging to it either.
"Begone, ye guilded vanities;
I seek some solid good;
To real bliss my wishes rise,
The favour of my God."
( Anne Steele )
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